a family

Today, I felt like it was necessary to write a Monday Musing about something that has made me incredibly happy recently. I would be most ungrateful if I didn't.

My family. I decided to stay and work in Provo this summer and I thought it would be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy and for the most part it has been, but every so often I'll be sitting there, thinking about a million things and then it hits me. That pang. That feeling where you miss home so terribly your heart hurts and all you want is the familiarity of your dad's counsel, mom's cooking and comforting words, your sister's laugh, the teasing of your big brother, the smell of the couch leather, and the brightly painted walls that glow when the sun hits them just right. Your throat tightens and the tears sting your eyes and you have to remember that you chose to stay where you are. And you slap on that smile because it is better to be happy, says your mom. And you get back to work because being busy will ease the ache says the dad. And you do what they say and you immerse yourself in familiar things where you are. And it's beautiful. And your heart melts a little bit because you are so grateful. Grateful for the happiness you have. Grateful for all of it. Even though I shed that tear or two, I am happy. I really am. Thank you family, thank you for everything.