Dream Killer

Well isn't it though? You wouldn't believe what I put my mind through sometimes.

This weekend I made a decision.

Growing up I struggled with perfectionism. Oh, who am I kidding, I still do! But also, growing up, I decided that I wanted to not try so hard. I wanted to be effortless. I wanted to be gold, because it's a good way to be. I decided that I didn't want to care about what people thought of me.

In a world full of girls, we care so much about what others thinks about us. We care about having Pinterest-perfect lives, weddings, wardrobes, kitchens, hair styles, finger nails...you name it. And it's not right.

How could we ever do this to ourselves?

How could I ever do it to myself? How could I ever compare? How could I be so ungrateful?

Yes, I am human. I struggle. I learn too!

I learn a lot about myself every day.

So this weekend I decided to keep to my commitment that I made to be effortless. To be gold. To not look at others on social media and compare myself to their pictures. To silly little pictures. I can't do that, because I like my life, and I really want to lift others. Oh I do. I want to inspire.

I want to help people feel light and joy.

How can I do that if I am so busy trying so desperately hard to write the best blog posts, have the best tumblr, pin the best pins, get the most likes on instagram, have the best wedding dress, upload the best wedding photos, have the best statuses, get the best grades, be a picture-perfect wife?

I don't think I can fulfill that dream if I am trying so hard to be perfect in the eyes of the world.

If I'm trying so hard to pretend to not be afraid of what they think.

God knows me. He loves me. He knows where I am..and really that's what matters the most.

Light and joy and dreams and inspiring and being perfectly content with how my life has turned out.

It's a wonderful life, really.

Why would I ever want anything else?

+ s t a y // g o l d