Enough

Me in an absolutely posed selfie that I legitmately thought would be something an insta-famous person would do. Sincerely was about to post this, until I realized how stupid I looked and how dumb my thought process for the whole thing actually was. This now lives on this blog and the selfies folder on my phone. May we never speak of it again.

Our home teachers invited us to dinner the other night, and I really like my home teachers, so of course I accepted the invitation with grace and hustled on over to their place to stuff my face with the most delicious baked and breaded pork chops with mashed potatoes and caesar salad on the side. During dinner, we started having a conversation about the pressures of social gatherings and social things in general. And with all conversations about social things, I feel like it all goes back to social media. So we talked about how much all of us hate social media. I work in social media, friends, I am social media. Well my job is social media anyway, but not the kind where you share those stupid and really fake articles or those "You won't believe what happened after this girl started singing" videos or even those "please feel sorry for me" or " my hubby/wifey is the sweetest most perfect person in the entire world" posts. We do the business and analytical side, and maybe every once in a while we get to create something totally cool and send it out for the world to see. I mean, we do share cool articles, and create awesome content so I should give myself some credit here.  Nevertheless, social media is more foe than friend to me sometimes.

Now, we all came to the conclusion that social media really is what you make it. I mean, you technically choose to feel bad when you see someone with their completely bleach white photos with perfect potted plants, perfect hair, teeth, husband, food and children that haven't even been born yet, but you just know they are going to be perfect because their instagram theme is on-effing-point. Yeah, you choose to feel bad about that stuff, but let's hashtag REAL talk for a second here.

We. Have. All. Felt. Bad. Or. Inadequate. Looking. At. Someone's. Social Media. Feed. (Periods added for emphasis and attention and annoyance.) We all have. And if you deny it, I promise you from the bottom of my cold, black heart that you are lying. I know you are. Because as much as we love social media and we love keeping in touch with those high school friends that we never talk to ever, we also secretly/not so secretly hate it. And might I add that we all secretly want a million likes and a million comments saying, "goals." So when we don't get them and we see all those insta-famous moms and singles on mountains and wavy-haired girls with those comments and likes, we all feel bad and feel a little bit of bitterness. Even if social media is what you make it, we all still feel bad.

My home teacher's wife is absolutely beautiful. She's totally adorable. She's one of those girls who just looks the best pregnant (she is pregnant) and she has pretty manicured nails and pretty hair and the best personality. And I want to be her friend and tell her funny jokes because she is one of those people that laughs at all jokes even if they are not funny because she wants you to know that you are funny. She really is the nicest human and it seems like she has nothing to feel self-conscious about, but she said to me during that dinner that every time she looks at pinterest or instagram she feels really overwhelmed. She feels like she doesn't and will probably never ever measure up. She gets overwhelmed because she feels like she needs to have the perfect house (with that on-point gallery wall), the perfect closet (with those valentino rockstuds), the perfect husband (with that man bun) and the perfect everything else (you know, kids dressed in outrageously overpriced clothing from companies with names like Finn&Olive, for example). And I am sad to say that I couldn't say that I didn't know how she felt. Oh how I wish we could all say that we didn't feel that way. She and I don't feel that way all the time. I mean, that would get really exhausting, but more than once a week we feel that way.

We feel like we don't measure up and we never will. But I know that's not true. And you should know that too. It's not true.

We can't stop those insta-famous or blog famous people from posting or being who they are. I'm sure a lot of them are great people and I'm sure they have a lot of crap that goes down in their lives. They just have extra validation from the internet. We don't need that validation. We really don't. And they don't need it either. (Don't get me wrong, those people we see all the time all over the internet aren't bad people, I promise I don't think they are bad people. I know a few positively lovely and wonderful internet famous girls that I am glad to call my friends. Please don't think I hate them. I don't.)

So we all came to a conclusion that night. We first decided that we are enough. We are more than our social media accounts.

I told her that she is beautiful and wonderful and enough. She doesn't need to be anything more for the internet. And we exchanged words of encouragement, but then she said that she wished there were people on the internet that were "real." Real is so relative sometimes. Like what defines real? I could say I'm real, but I also sometimes whiten my instagram photos and I sometimes take 50 selfies to get the right one and I even sometimes stage my photos and think long and hard about captions. DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT!

But I get what she's saying. We need people who are willing to admit that they feel the way I just described above some days more than others. We need people who are size 10's and 12's and above and still try to work out because they want to be healthy not necessarily because they NEED to lose weight. We need girls who are size 00 through 9 to talk about about how no one thinks their bodies are "real or normal" when they are. We need to start a healthy discussion about women building each other up. We need people who are completely open and unapologetic (but not Donald Trump unapologetic, in fact stay away you all trumpians). We need people who sometimes have a bad day and want to write about it. We need all kinds of people. We even need the insta/internet/blog-famous ones. We need each other.

And most importantly we need to remember that despite what is trending, or what is popular. or what boots you SHOULD be wearing from H&M because they are #goals...despite ALL of that...

We are enough.

We are.

So maybe I'll try to be one of those "real" people. That's what this blog was intended for anyway. Let's see how we do.

And even if I fail, I am enough. And so are you.

Style Profile // Morgan

Every week, I have the opportunity to feature the prettiest ladies with the prettiest style. Today, I'm featuring Morgan. Morgan and I were in the same Freshman ward at BYU. She is an advertising major and she's a dream come true. No really, she is. She arranged her own wedding bouquet and she has the prettiest golden bands for her rings. Talk about dreamy! Teach me your ways, Morgan! She's also one of the nicest people I know. She is full of kindness and she glows! I mean, look at her! Also, follow her blog and instagram!

In this Style Profile she shares her love for oversized styles (girl after my own heart), her signature sweatshirt and hairstyle and her fashion philosophy that applies to everyone! 

Q. How would you describe your personal style?

A.  I feel like it often changes! Some days I feel super preppy and others I could probably pass as a boy; but typically i would say slightly androgynous with a feminine touch.

Q. How did you “find” your personal style?

A.  My style has evolved over the years, but it started with me wearing clothes I felt comfortable in. Comfortable as in feeling good about myself and also literally cozy. And I like classic pieces with fun details, so if it fits in that category, it’s probably in my closet.

Q. How do you plan your outfits or put them together?

A. Usually I try on an outfit I originally think up, change the top, then the shoes, and then the pants. So after a few mixes and matches, I end up deciding on something completely different. It is kind of nice though because I can make a mental note for another outfit that had gotten changed out in the search. 

Q. Do you have any style “splurges”?

A.  Almost everything in my closet is affordable, I try and find the best deals. But I will spend a little more on shoes, it’s worth it to me if I can wear them with everything! 

Q. How does wearing your uniform/favorite outfit make you feel?

A.  I wish I could wear my uniform (favorite black JCrew sweatshirt, black zipper leggings, leather booties) everyday. I honestly think it makes me in a better mood, and I just love the feeling that I’m wearing something I love and I don’t even care what anyone thinks. 

Q. What do you like about your sense of style?

A.  I like that I can go from school to work to internship all while feeling comfortable and put together. I’m a creative person and I like that its usually reflected in what I’m wearing.

Q. Any style secrets we should know about?

A. I looove oversized everything, I feel like it is a cute/flattering style on everyone!

Q. Any signature piece?

A. Oversized sweater and a top knot. And neutrals. Oh and stripes!

Q. What's a trend you tried and regretted?

A. TOO MANY!  In my defense,  they were usually(?) in style at the time. The worst I can remember is plaid bermuda shorts, an Abercrombie polo and a contrasting tee on top. Or shrugs. Or gaucho pants. Lace cami’s. (!!!!!) 

Q.  Anything you absolutely won’t wear?

A. Eeek. Super tight tee’s or patterned leggings. Seriously nothing against anyone who chooses those styles, they are just not for me.

Q.  What is your overall fashion philosophy?

A. If you feel confident in what you are wearing, you can pull it off

Thanks Morgan! 

A rambling for pizza lovers and gymnasium dreamers.

I have the hardest time talking about body image. Maybe it's because I don't know much about health and fitness and ideal body weight or whatever. I mean. I don't really know my body that well. All I know is that I used to be able to eat junk food whenever I wanted and I didn't have to run or exercise that much, but now it's different. That's what happens when you grow up. Your body changes and that's life. Well if you know me, you know I'm one who is all about loving the skin you are in and treating your body right. I LOVE food. I LOVE eating it, but I also think exercise is great and beneficial for your spirit and your body. So I am by no means, encouraging girls to do everything they can to get skinny. I've tried that. And it doesn't work. It doesn't last for long and in the end you end up disappointed and angry at yourself. You start to hate yourself a little bit. You started to have questions pop up in your mind that should never be there. You become insensitive and cruel to yourself. Well isn't this backwards? Isn't this contrary to life? We are trying so hard to be these perfect images and in the end it will NEVER happen. In the end, I believe, we are worse off than we ever wanted to be. In the end, we completely forget who we are and the beauty of our bodies. God's greatest creation.

I'm guilty of this, my friends. I'm so guilty. Before I came to college, and even in my first year, I felt like I had the highest self-esteem around. I knew my body and I treated it with care. But times get tough...you guys they just do. I got discouraged. I got lazy. I stopped being active and resorted to eating IN-N-OUT every night...or it felt like it. My jeans got tighter, my chest got bigger, and my face seemed to pudge up. I thought I was a blob. And I'm going to stop right there, because it disgusts me to say so because I AM NOT. I am not a blob. I am not fat. I am Dani and I am proud of it. So yes, I gained a few pounds, but hey I'm not going to get discouraged when I start running again, and when I do...I'm going to power through. I'll have myself a good cry, but I'll try again. I'm going to eat burgers and ice cream and brownies if I want and NO ONE is going to judge me because you can't restrict yourself, dear ones. You simply can't. You have to be kind to yourself. You have to love yourself. So I don't know if this makes any sense, and maybe it's not profound...but I will say this. Embrace your curves. If you aren't curvy, don't do everything you can to be curvy. If you are curvy and you want to be smaller...don't deprive yourself to be smaller. We just need to embrace the skin we are in. We need to treat ourselves right. Maybe it means not eating fast food every day and going on a walk or run..or going to catch a frisbee. Whatever makes you feel truly and genuinely good about yourself. Do it. Just do it. I think Nike said that once. Because if you just do it...then you can be happy. Then you can see just how beautiful of a creation you are. You see, I love pizza...and I don't always like working out...so sometimes the world can bring us down, but we have to lift ourselves up. We have to say...hey I'm gonna like pizza...and even if I didn't run today, I walked like a mile to school...or I walked up that hill 10 times...or I didn't do anything..but I'm not going to stop liking pizza.

Did any of this make sense? Maybe not. I just hope you all know that I love you. And I want us to love each other. And love our bodies. Because sometimes I don't and it hurts. It sucks. Yeah I said it. It does. And sometimes I'm in a dark place, but when I see who I am, the hurt goes away and I find the strength to move on another because we aren't numbers or sizes or waistlines. We are people. Beautiful and lovely children of God. Who should love and be loved in return.