Monday Musing: A Love Letter

Dear You,

I know you'll read this because you have my blog bookmarked on your bookmarks toolbar on that clunky Dell that you have had too long and should probably replace soon because you're going to be admitted to a program that requires a better computer, just saying. Even before we were planning on getting married and stuff and even before we were dating, you always acted interested in my silly writings and countless posts about clothes and stuff. That is what is so great about you Tyeski...you care about what I care about and so this love letter is for you. For many reasons.

I just wanted you to know that I am ready for this new step and adventure in my life that I get to take with you. My heart is very full. Sometimes in daydreams I look back at the life I lived before you...I was a free spirit, a wild bird, a wolf in the wild (You'll later tell me that this is probably the most hipster sentence I have ever written.) No one was going to tie my down and no one could enter my heart. But you did. And for that, I am so grateful. People say you can never be ready for marriage and taking that next big step, and I think that's probably the truth, but even if I'm not completely ready here are some things that I feel ready for:

I'm ready to go on walks with you, play frisbee with you, go on hikes with you, and fun runs with you when you get restless and tired and when you feel like you haven't fulfilled yourself in a day because you haven't done something active.

I'm ready to build a home with you. To decorate it. To make it our own. A place of peace and happiness love and the spirit.

I'm ready to eat dinners with you and talk about our days and laugh about silly things and to cry when we are sad and even when we are happy.

I'm ready to go watch movies with you and talk about books and ideas and themes and stories.

I'm ready for adventures, spontaneous drives to California, Vegas, Ogden, Yellowstone.

I'm ready to plan our Disneyland trips and to save up every penny.

I'm ready for moments of peace with you and moments of craziness where we are so busy and we are trying so hard to find moments to spend time together and so we do and it's perfect and wonderful.

I'm ready to learn and grown with you Tyler.

I'm ready to love deeper than I ever have before.

Thank you for coming into my life.

I truly thank God every day.

We can do this. Who cares if people think we aren't ready or we are too immature or that we are moving to fast or we aren't doing it the right way. Who cares? Those things don't matter. God matters. His love matters. The temple matters. Our eternal marriage matters. And so yes...I'm not ready for everything and I don't think I ever will be but I am ready for some.

I love you, Ty. You're gold. And I know you'll stay that way.