Terrific Tuesday // This is Tyler

This is Tyler. 

He is my very best friend. 

We've been best friends for a year and a few months now. 

He loves basketball, In-N-Out burger, video games, pretzels, the Lakers, fantasy football, volleyball, sour candy (kids, ropes, and rips preferred), books, Lord of the Rings, movies, Vampire weekend, writing and family. 

As for things he doesn't like, well there aren't very many things he doesn't like. 

He doesn't like it when I look at Instagram (or any social media for that matter. Social media is not his thing.) And he doesn't like shopping, but I can handle that. 

Oh and one more thing...he doesn't like it when people take gushy pictures. So no kissing pictures from us. 

Thankfully enough, he loves me. He probably should because we're married. 

We've been married for a year now. On December 28th to be exact. 

I'm really happy to be married to this guy for eternity. For anyone that doesn't know much about Mormons, we believe in marriage for ETERNITY. That's a really long time for some people. For me, that sounds just right. 

I want to be married to him for eternity. 

Don't you want your best friend for eternity? 

I sure do. 

I also sure did want to post pictures of my wedding on this blog post, but I can't find the CDs with all of our pictures on them. Please say a prayer in your heart that I find them or I'll be very upset about it. 

Please bless that I didn't throw them away in some weird clean-up fest. Amen.

Side note that's not really important: My computer crashed three, yes THREE times in 2014 without me having a substantial backup. So no Ty photos on this computer anymore. What you get is what you get. 

Anyway. So yeah. We're married. For over a year. A year and two days. So I thought maybe I would share a thing or two about Tyler that makes me love him so darn much. 

Or I don't know...maybe I'll just blubber about him. Either way, this post is about my best friend named Tyler who I'm married to for eternity. Because who wouldn't want that? 

First things first, everyone needs a Tyler. And pizza. Everyone needs a Tyler and a slice of pizza. That's the key to a beautiful and effervescently happy life, right there. 

Tyler's are kind, patient, and funny. They make you laugh at least five billion times a day. 

My Tyler does anyway. 

My Tyler will praise your cooking. Every single thing you make will be "RQ" or Restaurant Quality. After he's finished eating, he'll clean up all the dishes too. 

My Tyler needs to go on walk and talks. So you'll always be able to tell him your feelings and get exercise while you do it. 

He tells you you're beautiful every day and he so means it. 

My Tyler doesn't care that I have a particular interest towards grey sweaters. He supports that fetish. 

He will sing you songs and play games with you and most importantly eat treats with you. 

When he sings those songs he'll sing the songs wrong and then make excuses for it. 

Sometimes he'll get really close to your face and rest his forehead on yours and say, "I'm resting here. You're giving me strength." All while rubbing your really tired neck. 

He'll tell you when you finally get to bed and snuggle up in the covers that "This is my favorite time of day, the time where I get to be with you, in bed, all cozy, playing games on my phone and hearing you snore a little. I love this time of day the most because I get to watch you sleep so peacefully. 

Trust me not creepy. Totally dreamy. 

I could name a hundred things about my Tyler, but I'll just end with this.

My Tyler is a loving person. His love is as deep as the sea and as lovely as the sea breeze that makes the waves. He is cheerful in times of trouble. He does not raise his voice or get filled with anger. He teaches me so many things about love and life and God. He brings me closer to Him. He is a good person through and through. He is joyful and wonderful and perfect in every way...even when he is human. I love my Tyler and I wouldn't have him any other way.

So here's to eternity my sweet best friend. As cliche as that sounds. Here's to eternity. 

Never change. H.A.G.S. U.R. a QT. Kewl. Call me. (just kidding change when you need to, but make sure i'm on board with the change first) 

Glad we had this talk. 

NOW here's another picture. (double chins and all) 

WA-BLAM! 

+ s t a y // g o l d 

Happy are we! Happy are we!

I've found that sometimes it's not the best to always believe what everyone tells you about the first year of marriage. 

I think it takes away from you having your own true experience. The experience of experiences where you have to try it out yourself. 

Where you have to discover and learn and cry and try again and smile again. And remember that you really are happy, because it's true, you are the happiest you have ever been in your life. You really are. 

Then cry some more and then hold each other in the moment. That's what learning is about actually. And it's great. It's really great. Sometimes you get discouraged and disappointed and sometimes people are lacking on both sides in the appreciation department, but if there is one thing I've learned so far in this short period of marriage time is that it's WAY better than engagement and that love is more deep and that understanding grows and so does the appreciation. And so does the learning. 

And it really is beautiful. And it really is worth it all. 

p.s. if anyone wants to know. the sully blanket (or the blue fuzzy one) is from qvc courtesy of my abuela, and our duvet is from Nate Berkus for Target. I love that thing. 

Now here are some more pictures!

I have no idea if I have shared this one yet, but despite the terrible quality, it is my FAVORITE wedding photo. It's even better in it's "not uploaded from the iPhone" state. 

We had our first "date night" as a married couple. It consisted of Chile's, BYU Basketball, an old man photobomb, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 at the Dollar Theater. We are classics. 

A random photo I took recently of this gorgeous sunset. Just thought I would share. Maybe I should insert a random poem about how Tyler and I's love being like a sunset. Ah, better not. Cheese alert central. 

Alright well, I mused enough. Stay gold.

A modest proposal.

Confession time.

Guys. I don't like proposal videos. I used to be really into them. You know, the whole Bruno Mars, Disney, lip syncing hoohah doodads. I loved them, they made me cry yadda yadda yadda...until...I got engaged. And it was the most simple and beautiful and perfect thing ever. And there was no Bruno Mars, no jumbo tron, no flash mob, no sky divers, no band playing, no fireworks. And guess what? I was incredibly happy about it. And then I got really disappointed. Disappointed that girls started posting these videos everywhere with captions saying, "Take a lesson boys, learn from this, this is the only way a girl should be asked, if a boy doesn't ask me this way I'll say no."

That's when my face met my palm and I began to question the humanity and goodness of girls these days.

Why do boys have to spend a ton of money and a ton of time after he's spent A WHOLE BUTT LOAD OF MONEY ON THAT SHINY BAUBLE THAT WILL BE ON YOUR HAND FOREVER!?! Why?

How dare you ask for anything more! Okay...I might be getting a little too heated about it. All the caps and stuff, but really. I know. Everyone deserves the proposal they want and guys actually want to do something big and elaborate, but when Tyler asked me what I wanted as a proposal...I just sat in silence. I couldn't think of anything because I didn't expect anything. I mean, I was already getting a ring. I was already getting to be with him forever! I mean what more could I want? Why did there have to be a standard of marriage proposals? Why was there an expectation?

I'm not trying to say that my proposal was the best and all the elaborate ones are trash...I'm just saying that girls...girls shouldn't expect the fireworks, and the marching bands, and the lip syncing. They shouldn't require it anyway. Truth is...it's NOT THAT IMPORTANT. In fact, the proposal is the least important part. Let's get real.

So here's what I want to know. If you are engaged or married, how did your fiancee/husband propose to you? Were you expecting something crazy and elaborate? Was it simple and did you absolutely love it? Do you think that girls should expect elaborate and showy proposals? Voice off and please, please don't hate me.

I'm out.

Stay gold.

P.S. I went back and read this and I realize that it could make people who had elaborate proposals feel bad. I don't think they are...I'm complaining more about the girls who actually EXPECT a huge proposal. That's all. Take it as you will.

Terrific Tuesday: Gushy Heart Confessions

*WARNING* This is another wedding/marriage/engagement/Tyler blog post. Read if you like, don't read if you don't like.

Truth is...I have a gushy heart. A sensitive one. One that has a really hard time watching people eat lunch by themselves. One that squeals over that video on youtube of the corgi flopping into the water. One that flutters when the sun hits the gold and red leaves on the trees just right. One that melts into a puddle of love juice at simple little things and great big things. My heart holds onto things, memories, moments, stories, experiences...and an experience that my heart has been holding onto lately and been all gushy about is engagement.

Engagement.

Yes, I must make some confessions about engagement.

Engagement is hard. That's like the simplest way to put it. But also...engagement is a whole lot of fun full of a whole lot of learning, laughs, tears, and countless toothy grins. I'll admit I've been afraid of talking about engagement...it makes me feel vulnerable. I feel like I'm inviting people to know about an intimate and tender part of my life with Tyler. And I won't share much, but the title of this says confessions...so I must confess as much as my heart and my head allows.

I knew Tyler for a good couple of months before we started dating. We really became BEST friends. We were always together, we talked about anything, and we knew a good bit about each other. Everything happened naturally sooooo naturally we fell in love and everything felt right. Engagement and marriage felt right. It all fell into place and it happened and here we are. But when you're engaged *confession #1* you learn more about your love more than you ever knew before and it's true, it doesn't stop when you get married...you keep on learning about that person. You learn about everything. Things you love. Things you don't love so much. Things that make you happy. Things that annoy you. You learn their dreams, wishes, insecurities, aspirations, goals, fears. You learn about their hearts and their minds. And with this learning process*confession #2* comes trials and tears and struggles and disagreements. But with those things comes *confession #3* understanding, pure, Christ-like love, patience, admiration, cleaving, closeness. IF YOU WORK AT IT. It does.

Confession #4, I am really glad that Tyler and I have gone through this engagement learning. I am SO incredibly glad. I am happy that I am able to have conflict and resolution. I wouldn't trade it for anything else, because I have fallen deeper in love with Tyler because of the things we have learned. And because we have discovered so much about one another. Some people see us when we are in a bad mood or in the middle of a disagreement and they judge us solely on that, but what they don't see is how we handle conflict and how we resolve it. They don't see that part where we hold each other and commit to each other and to God to become better. So I would say this to everyone out there with engaged friends, married friends, friends with BFs and GFs or that are dating, and those who are approaching engagement, marriage, and relationships....DON'T judge couples on what you see in one circumstance. Don't even try to get to know their whole relationship. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Confession #5 It's none of your business. Let's be real...you don't belong in their triangle or donut or bubble. Sound harsh? Yes, probably but it's true. Don't try to solve the problems in their relationship. They need to do that themselves. Don't assume that you are an expert because belittling and bringing other people's relationships down shows the instability, uncertainty, and insecurity of yours.

My heart has been feeling these things. My heart has been bruised and nurtured on all of these thoughts. I feel like I had to confess. It needed to be done. And this was the place to do it. So if you please, please be careful with my tiny confessions. Don't go breaking my heart. Go out and build the hearts of others. Let's be happy and kind people. Let's form relationships and make them better with hearts wide open and full of understanding and compassion.

Monday Musing: A Love Letter

Dear You,

I know you'll read this because you have my blog bookmarked on your bookmarks toolbar on that clunky Dell that you have had too long and should probably replace soon because you're going to be admitted to a program that requires a better computer, just saying. Even before we were planning on getting married and stuff and even before we were dating, you always acted interested in my silly writings and countless posts about clothes and stuff. That is what is so great about you Tyeski...you care about what I care about and so this love letter is for you. For many reasons.

I just wanted you to know that I am ready for this new step and adventure in my life that I get to take with you. My heart is very full. Sometimes in daydreams I look back at the life I lived before you...I was a free spirit, a wild bird, a wolf in the wild (You'll later tell me that this is probably the most hipster sentence I have ever written.) No one was going to tie my down and no one could enter my heart. But you did. And for that, I am so grateful. People say you can never be ready for marriage and taking that next big step, and I think that's probably the truth, but even if I'm not completely ready here are some things that I feel ready for:

I'm ready to go on walks with you, play frisbee with you, go on hikes with you, and fun runs with you when you get restless and tired and when you feel like you haven't fulfilled yourself in a day because you haven't done something active.

I'm ready to build a home with you. To decorate it. To make it our own. A place of peace and happiness love and the spirit.

I'm ready to eat dinners with you and talk about our days and laugh about silly things and to cry when we are sad and even when we are happy.

I'm ready to go watch movies with you and talk about books and ideas and themes and stories.

I'm ready for adventures, spontaneous drives to California, Vegas, Ogden, Yellowstone.

I'm ready to plan our Disneyland trips and to save up every penny.

I'm ready for moments of peace with you and moments of craziness where we are so busy and we are trying so hard to find moments to spend time together and so we do and it's perfect and wonderful.

I'm ready to learn and grown with you Tyler.

I'm ready to love deeper than I ever have before.

Thank you for coming into my life.

I truly thank God every day.

We can do this. Who cares if people think we aren't ready or we are too immature or that we are moving to fast or we aren't doing it the right way. Who cares? Those things don't matter. God matters. His love matters. The temple matters. Our eternal marriage matters. And so yes...I'm not ready for everything and I don't think I ever will be but I am ready for some.

I love you, Ty. You're gold. And I know you'll stay that way.

Monday Musing: In Two Months...

I'm getting married! 

YEAH! 

Okay that's all for today. 

Stay gold.

Monday Musing: Soul mates

Be ready for two stellar posts today! This really was supposed to go up yesterday, but the internet in my apartment was a failure and I had prioritize. Homework? Or write a blogpost? Homework won out. It just has to sometimes.

So anyway, soul mates...do they exist? What are they? And  how do we find our soul mate if they do exist?

First, this is just my opinion, so please don't get upset if you don't agree. I would actually like to hear opinions in the comments. So read and then let me know, lovelies.

This semester, I have had the wonderful opportunity to take a Marriage Prep class. At first, I was hesitant because there is always a stereotype that is put on the students who take it. The marriage hungry returned missionaries and desperate girls who can't get a date. I have foundd this to be entirely not true, and I have also found that the class has had a profound and beautiful impact on my life.

I found this to be particularly true yesterday (Monday). We talked about soul mates...my professor started with saying that we wouldn't be tested on the information, it was just important to talk about. I thought that was beautiful too. We were talking about something that she felt was important. It was a time for all of us to share emotional things. Things that were close to our hearts. It was a wonderful class discussion. Here are some things that we (and myself) concluded.

Soul mates do and do not exist. It is a pretty complex matter, so bear with me.

There are no such thing as soul mates in the context that there is JUST ONE person out there for you. There are soul mates in the context that you find someone that you grow with. Someone that is perfect for you, that helps you strive to be perfect. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said that soul mates are, "the one person you are meant to be with. The person that is perfect for you." The only thing is that there can be multiple ones for you, he also said about his wife Harriet, "Though I am deeply in love with Harriet, I don't believe that I was her one moment and chance for happiness, nor was she my one moment and chance for happiness. But once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate."

Your soul mate is someone who makes you better. Someone that you can't be without because you are not complete without them. You do not feel whole. You lose parts of you when they are gone.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, "The only chance to perfection is creating it together with your spouse...your soul mate."

I will say now that I completely agree with the words I quoted above, but I believe other things when it comes to soul mates.

I believe the following...it can all be summed up in this...

Courtesy of Tumblr, Pinterest, and all things lovely.

Some may find this weird, but I truly believe that a soul mate can be my best friend. A person I connect spiritually and emotionally with. Someone who knows me better than I know myself. I feel like I have musical soul mates. Tumblr soul mates. My parents can be my soul mates in some ways (just not in that weird romantic, too attached way...you know?) I am not even trying to take away from the beauty and sacredness of soulmates. I'm just saying that we can share pieces of our soul with just about everybody. We can see into the souls of others. That is so lovely to me.

To find these people though, there is a price that must be paid. And what is that price?

The price is to become the person we want to be our soulmate. We must become who we want to love. Are we a deal breaker?

In class we learned a FORMULA FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE!

1. Proper approach to marriage.
You must date.
You must bring out the best in each other.
2. Great unselfishness.
We must have a heart at peace.
We have to be unselfish for our new little family.
3. Continued courtship and affection.
4. Keep and live the commandments.

Also, make a list of the important things. Not just the physical things, and BECOME THOSE THINGS! Act now.

To close I'd like to share another quote by President Uchtdorf.

"Stop waiting for someone to make you whole. Do what you can to fulfill your duty as a child of God."

Whether you think soul mates exist or not, I feel like there are people out there who can complete us. Those that make us whole. We just need to do the right things to find that person. We must be on the right track. We must become the soul mate we want.  We will not be forgotten in this journey to find our true love. I know it.