On Mondays and Watermelon.

Monday, August 5, 2013

I woke up this morning after a restless night. I slept in. And it was good. But the days have been frustrating. The days have been tiring and there have been so many things on my mind. Money, utilities (seriously, the bill was so high in July, but my dad bailed me out. Thank you, Dad. Thank you from the bottom of my tired heart.), boyfriend, the future, California trip in a week, what was that bump in the house, is anyone up at this hour? Do I really need to go to work tomorrow? All those things have bombarded my thoughts. Oh and let's not forget, have I really gained 5 pounds? This haircut makes my chin look pudgy. Why am I so unhappy with myself? Why? Why? Why? And even more whys. And in those moments, I always have this moment. This moment where I get all choked up and my face gets hot and I want to fall on the ground and beat it with my fists and scream and throw the biggest baby fit ever and have my chin all trembly and wrinkled and have those salty tears sting my breaking out face and roll all sticky down my chubby cheeks. I come so close to that moment and then peace. Peace takes over. And "It will all be right in the end." replaces the "Why's, how's, what am I going to do's." That's when I know that someone is looking out for me. That's when I know who I really am and who I am becoming. Those are tender mercies, as cliche and mormony as it sounds, they are. Those are the mercies from God. Mercies from the sunlight, the leaves on the trees, the juiciest of watermelons, the deepest of sleeps. Those are the moments when I know I'm loved and that I can get through the toughest of circumstances. Those moments when I realize money is important but it's not the most important thing in the world. Save your money, pay your tithing and things will be okay. It doesn't come before friends or family. The worldly things don't bring happiness, the spiritual things do. Whether you are religious or not, we all have souls, we all have spirits, and the things of the soul are what matter most. Those things work out. Those things bring happiness.

So jumping on the Terrific Tuesday wagon early, I'm going to list a few things that made me incredibly happy today.

1. Watermelon. A simple pinkish juicy fruit with obnoxious seeds and made with loads of water that could hydrate you for years. Pick it up with your fingers, pop it in your mouth and slurp away. Everyone will hate you for the mouth noises (mainly Ty) but you are completely enjoying yourself and that is a-okay. Darn right it is. Thank you Watermelon you scrumptious fruit.

2. The fact I get to go swim today at the Rec Center. Rec Centers give me the willies because I keep thinking of little pee puddles and athlete's foot, but I can't wait. I can't. I want to smell like chlorine and bathe in a waterfall.

3. The boyfriend. Need I say more?

4. America's Next Top Model. Don't judge.

4. My dad. He is always there when I need him. He knows exactly what to do and knows exactly what to say. He has the biggest heart and the deepest love. Thank you, Daddy-O for every little thing. Thank you for lifting me off of my feeble knees. I'll love you forever. 

6. The blog and you, you my readers. Thank you for giving me people to talk to and express my inner feelings, passions, and thoughts...as weird and anti-social as that sounds. I mean, I can physically tell my friends, but this blog has been an outlet to me than anything I ever thought would. This blog has been a great thing for me. A beautiful thing. So thank you, thank you my gold friends. May you stay gold forever.

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