Terrific Tuesday: Gushy Heart Confessions

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

*WARNING* This is another wedding/marriage/engagement/Tyler blog post. Read if you like, don't read if you don't like.

Truth is...I have a gushy heart. A sensitive one. One that has a really hard time watching people eat lunch by themselves. One that squeals over that video on youtube of the corgi flopping into the water. One that flutters when the sun hits the gold and red leaves on the trees just right. One that melts into a puddle of love juice at simple little things and great big things. My heart holds onto things, memories, moments, stories, experiences...and an experience that my heart has been holding onto lately and been all gushy about is engagement.


Yes, I must make some confessions about engagement.

Engagement is hard. That's like the simplest way to put it. But also...engagement is a whole lot of fun full of a whole lot of learning, laughs, tears, and countless toothy grins. I'll admit I've been afraid of talking about engagement...it makes me feel vulnerable. I feel like I'm inviting people to know about an intimate and tender part of my life with Tyler. And I won't share much, but the title of this says confessions...so I must confess as much as my heart and my head allows.

I knew Tyler for a good couple of months before we started dating. We really became BEST friends. We were always together, we talked about anything, and we knew a good bit about each other. Everything happened naturally sooooo naturally we fell in love and everything felt right. Engagement and marriage felt right. It all fell into place and it happened and here we are. But when you're engaged *confession #1* you learn more about your love more than you ever knew before and it's true, it doesn't stop when you get married...you keep on learning about that person. You learn about everything. Things you love. Things you don't love so much. Things that make you happy. Things that annoy you. You learn their dreams, wishes, insecurities, aspirations, goals, fears. You learn about their hearts and their minds. And with this learning process*confession #2* comes trials and tears and struggles and disagreements. But with those things comes *confession #3* understanding, pure, Christ-like love, patience, admiration, cleaving, closeness. IF YOU WORK AT IT. It does.

Confession #4, I am really glad that Tyler and I have gone through this engagement learning. I am SO incredibly glad. I am happy that I am able to have conflict and resolution. I wouldn't trade it for anything else, because I have fallen deeper in love with Tyler because of the things we have learned. And because we have discovered so much about one another. Some people see us when we are in a bad mood or in the middle of a disagreement and they judge us solely on that, but what they don't see is how we handle conflict and how we resolve it. They don't see that part where we hold each other and commit to each other and to God to become better. So I would say this to everyone out there with engaged friends, married friends, friends with BFs and GFs or that are dating, and those who are approaching engagement, marriage, and relationships....DON'T judge couples on what you see in one circumstance. Don't even try to get to know their whole relationship. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Confession #5 It's none of your business. Let's be real...you don't belong in their triangle or donut or bubble. Sound harsh? Yes, probably but it's true. Don't try to solve the problems in their relationship. They need to do that themselves. Don't assume that you are an expert because belittling and bringing other people's relationships down shows the instability, uncertainty, and insecurity of yours.

My heart has been feeling these things. My heart has been bruised and nurtured on all of these thoughts. I feel like I had to confess. It needed to be done. And this was the place to do it. So if you please, please be careful with my tiny confessions. Don't go breaking my heart. Go out and build the hearts of others. Let's be happy and kind people. Let's form relationships and make them better with hearts wide open and full of understanding and compassion.

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