A rambling for pizza lovers and gymnasium dreamers.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

I have the hardest time talking about body image. Maybe it's because I don't know much about health and fitness and ideal body weight or whatever. I mean. I don't really know my body that well. All I know is that I used to be able to eat junk food whenever I wanted and I didn't have to run or exercise that much, but now it's different. That's what happens when you grow up. Your body changes and that's life. Well if you know me, you know I'm one who is all about loving the skin you are in and treating your body right. I LOVE food. I LOVE eating it, but I also think exercise is great and beneficial for your spirit and your body. So I am by no means, encouraging girls to do everything they can to get skinny. I've tried that. And it doesn't work. It doesn't last for long and in the end you end up disappointed and angry at yourself. You start to hate yourself a little bit. You started to have questions pop up in your mind that should never be there. You become insensitive and cruel to yourself. Well isn't this backwards? Isn't this contrary to life? We are trying so hard to be these perfect images and in the end it will NEVER happen. In the end, I believe, we are worse off than we ever wanted to be. In the end, we completely forget who we are and the beauty of our bodies. God's greatest creation.

I'm guilty of this, my friends. I'm so guilty. Before I came to college, and even in my first year, I felt like I had the highest self-esteem around. I knew my body and I treated it with care. But times get tough...you guys they just do. I got discouraged. I got lazy. I stopped being active and resorted to eating IN-N-OUT every night...or it felt like it. My jeans got tighter, my chest got bigger, and my face seemed to pudge up. I thought I was a blob. And I'm going to stop right there, because it disgusts me to say so because I AM NOT. I am not a blob. I am not fat. I am Dani and I am proud of it. So yes, I gained a few pounds, but hey I'm not going to get discouraged when I start running again, and when I do...I'm going to power through. I'll have myself a good cry, but I'll try again. I'm going to eat burgers and ice cream and brownies if I want and NO ONE is going to judge me because you can't restrict yourself, dear ones. You simply can't. You have to be kind to yourself. You have to love yourself. So I don't know if this makes any sense, and maybe it's not profound...but I will say this. Embrace your curves. If you aren't curvy, don't do everything you can to be curvy. If you are curvy and you want to be smaller...don't deprive yourself to be smaller. We just need to embrace the skin we are in. We need to treat ourselves right. Maybe it means not eating fast food every day and going on a walk or run..or going to catch a frisbee. Whatever makes you feel truly and genuinely good about yourself. Do it. Just do it. I think Nike said that once. Because if you just do it...then you can be happy. Then you can see just how beautiful of a creation you are. You see, I love pizza...and I don't always like working out...so sometimes the world can bring us down, but we have to lift ourselves up. We have to say...hey I'm gonna like pizza...and even if I didn't run today, I walked like a mile to school...or I walked up that hill 10 times...or I didn't do anything..but I'm not going to stop liking pizza.

Did any of this make sense? Maybe not. I just hope you all know that I love you. And I want us to love each other. And love our bodies. Because sometimes I don't and it hurts. It sucks. Yeah I said it. It does. And sometimes I'm in a dark place, but when I see who I am, the hurt goes away and I find the strength to move on another because we aren't numbers or sizes or waistlines. We are people. Beautiful and lovely children of God. Who should love and be loved in return.

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