Observed // I am not

Monday, September 7, 2015

I expect a lot out of myself. The majority of pressure I feel in life comes directly from me. I want to be a lot of things and i feel like i need to be other things. I'm not going to discount the fact that the culture I live in expects a lot of things. You have to be the most active. The most outgoing. The most fashionable. The most everything.

Well I'm not a lot of things. In fact, I fall short in a lot of stuff, but as I continue my journey of self-love and self-discovery I've found gold in the things I am not. I have found who I am.

1. I do not have the most clothes in my closet, in fact; I don't even have the latest styles found at good old University Mall. I haven't been shopping for a couple of months. I am not up-to-date with the latest fashions, but here's what I am...

I am learning more and more about my personal style and I'm developing an eye for quality over quantity.

2. I am not the skinniest but here's what I am. I am a girl LEARNING every day to love her body. I am a girl learning to embrace all bodies. I am a girl learning to treat her body with honor and with kindness.

3. I am not the prettiest. Sometimes, I think my chin is really big. Sometimes, I think my face is too round. But here's what I am. I am a person who can smile. I am a person who can feel the warmth of the sun on her face.  I am a girl with a face that is the beautiful genetic makeup of two of the most incredible and important people in her life.

4. I am not the smartest. I do not have a 4.0 anymore. I am not the top of my class and I don't know everything. But here's what I am. I am a person who tries and works hard for what she wants. I am a girl that doesn't throw up every morning anymore because she is so terrified of anything lower than an A. I am a girl who is learning so many valuable things each day. I am a girl who gets to go to college. Have you ever stopped to thinking of just how fortunate you are to go to college?

5. I am not perfect. And I never will be. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect daughter. I am not the perfect member of the church (HAH). I am not the perfect friend and I am not the perfect student. But this is who I am and I am embracing these perfect imperfections, because they make up who I am. They make up my soul. They make up the very core of my being.

I am me, and as cheesy as this sounds...there is no one I would rather be.

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