Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts

marbles

Saturday, February 6, 2016



Just two months ago, I discovered the magical place that is Hobby Lobby. Remember when people were trying to boycott Hobby Lobby? Well without getting into opinions and fighting words, I just have to say I'm glad that fell through because Hobby Lobby is the shit. 50% off frames and wall decor? YES, please! Ceramic faux taxidermy? Give it all to me! Lots of stress because you want everything and you only have ONE 40% off coupon? #Accurate. Let's just say that Hobby Lobby has become as toxic to a woman's wallet and her personal relationships as Target.

So I was at Hobby Lobby yesterday and I was waiting in line. They are having a huge home accents sale, so people were crowding the place. I was waiting in line and in front of me was this really put together mom. She reminded me of my favorite mom, and that is my mom so I was really admiring her, and at her feet was her EXTREMELY well-behaved son. (This is the highest compliment I could give someone because there are A LOT of wannabe-famous mormons at Hobby Lobby and a lot of their sons and daughters are tiny little terrors dressed in baby moccasins.) But not this little guy. He had on a nerdy little polo shirt with brown, scuffed laced shoes. His pants were those cute cargo ones that your dad might wear, only they were little kid size. He was adorable, and I really loved that his mom didn't care about him being dressed in baby moccasins, because baby clothes are pricy and that baby was going to learn to love hand-me-downs. Did I just ramble about baby mocs? Yes, yes I did. Anyway,  so I was really into watching this kid because he was not only cute, but he had a great vocabulary and he was very obedient to his mom with her pretty hair and put together aura. And it was really helping me not turn around and tell the two moms behind me to stop railing on their eyelash extension girl for not being able to fit them in.

And I was able to witness the sweetest thing. It was a "faith in humanity restored" moment. The little boy, who didn't wander to far from his mom, but was very eager to stay close to help her and ask questions about different items in the store and in her cart, he wandered over to those things I like to call "last minute temptations." You know, those cash register line stands filled with sour candy, chocolate, yarn, buttons, magnets, pokemon cards, mini toys that are a choking hazard, 3M hooks, twine and washi tape, and for some reason you find yourself needing a pack of pokemon cards because maybe, just maybe there will be a holographic charzard in there.

He was poking around in those last minute temptations and he reached for a bag of marbles. It was the prettiest bag of marbles you could ever see. Marbles of every color. Marbles of every size. Marbles straight out of those old movies that your mom taught you to love. The most beautiful bag of marbles your eyes could behold. His eyes became wide with wonder and awe. He clutched the bag and looked side to side. He looked up at me and then quickly looked away (little kid embarassment is the cutest thing ever). He looked down at the floor. Back at the marbles. I could tell his mind was whirling around and he was trying to find the words to say.

Would he gather the courage to ask his mom? Or would he place the bag back down? Would he hold the bag close and slowly inch his way back over, maybe just maybe catching his mother's eye and gaining her seal of approval? Would he loudly play with them to get his mom's attention? How would he react if his mom said no? Would he throw a fit like the other kids around him? Would he smile and say, that's okay mom, I don't need them? Or would he shed tears over that beautiful bag and would those tears create a revolution inside of me and make me buy that bag for him?

I saw all of this run through this child's mind. I even saw him make a decision.

He stood straight up, the marbles grasped firmly in his hand and he marched over to his mom. But not a cocky march, like a "I know what i'm going to do" march. He stopped right in front of his mom, held the marbles up and looked her straight in the eye.

She smiled a lovely and warm smile, "Marbles!" she exclaimed. His face lit up, "Marbles!" he replied.

And without asking, his mom said, "Are there big marbles in there? If you promise me there are big marbles and you'll share with me then you can get them." (For some reason, big marbles are the creme de la creme of marble bags.)

At this point, I was wheezing, I had so many feelings. My heart was a puddle of love juice.

The little boy smiled the biggest smile and hugged his mom's leg saying "thank you thank you mom, I promise I'll share and I promise you can have the big marbles and I promise I won't lose them and I promise I'll always be good. I promise mom, thank you thank you."

That little boy held that bag of marbles so close to him that his mom nearly had to rip them out of this hand to pay for them and it was the most tender thing I saw all week.

Now, I don't know how everything went from there. For all I know, the kid could have dropped all of them in the parking lot or he could have turned into a little twerp as he got in the car, but that little kid was a big example to me of how grateful and excited I should be about my life.

I got home from hobby lobby excited to use my frames and repot my plant with the cool new concrete planter I got from my outing. I started unwrapping my frames and inserting the pictures and everything was going smoothly until the back of one frame wouldn't snap back in. To make a long and necessary story short, I exerted so much force trying to get the back to snap back in that I broke the frame in two. I was furious. I nearly threw the frame across the room. Thinking I was a genius, I ran to my trusty hot glue gun. I managed to piece the frame back together and I started gluing. Finished and smug with success, I went to pick up the frame, except it wouldn't budge from the counter. I had glued the frame to the countertop and that frame refused to budge. Somehow, I managed to unbind it from the counter without breaking it. Except, the paint of the frame came off and stuck to my counter. After going at it with a spatula, it came off and I was ready to stick that damn frame to the wall.

Except my 3M hooks weren't sticking, in fact, they peeled off the frame almost instantly. Completely frustrated and upset I set the frame aside, I needed to cool down. I'll just go repot my plant I thought.

To make another long story short, I killed my plant in the process of repotting. Killed is probably exaggerating but it might as well have happened. I ended up on my kitchen floor angry and surrounded my a hundreds of little leaves and a completely dismembered plant and a pot filled partially with soil. That feeling of joy and faith in humanity and myself that I felt earlier had vanished and I was a loser.

A very ungrateful loser. The plant has been set aside (in the trash). It was beyond saving, I'm telling you. The frame, I set it against my bookshelf. It looked nice. And my pride and ingratitude sat in my throat. I sat myself on the couch and remembered the marbles. How excited that boy was for marbles. How excited I should have been to even go outside that day. To be able to buy frames to decorate my walls. To have a gorgeous plant that I got to take care of for a little while.

You might think this sounds dramatic and corny, but those things are significant. The little things, the little bag of marbles in our lives are significant. We all have bad days and it's sometimes necessary to pout and cry and throw a fit, but after you're done throwing a fit, be like the little kid who got his marbles. Is that a cheesy, mormon analogy or what?

Be as happy as the kid in hobby lobby with his bag of marbles because they are significant and being grateful for those little things in life, despite crappy misfortunes happening around you, is good for the soul. Gratitude is good for the soul.

And that is all I have to say about marbles.

Observed // Me, again...

Monday, June 23, 2014

p h o t o 


I'm observing myself again. And my feelings. And my thoughts. And my beliefs. I observe those a lot. And when I say observe, I mean reflect. That's what I'm doing, but I like making things sound deeper and more hipster and artsy because that's the way I roll. So observed is the word. 

Well, it's me again. Back for another blogpost. Back for another musing on a Monday. Wearing a t-shirt dress I got from the Gap for $11.20. Because I really like a good deal. I like them so much that I buy so many deals that it pretty much defeats the purpose of deals in the first place. 

And the thing is, I'm pretty grateful that Tyler tolerates me so much, because I really bug myself a lot. I get annoyed with how my mind works sometimes. I am annoyed with my anxieties and the feelings I have. And I realize that I'm not loving myself enough and so I have to observe myself. I just do. I have to take a break from the pretzel bite recipe I'm trying, and I need to observe myself, because it teaches me to love myself more. It teaches me to see what Tyler sees. It teaches me patience. 

And so I observe....reflect, really. 

So things I've observed about myself. 

My style preferences have evolved. I have always really liked laid-back styles. Granted, in the past I forced myself to wear certain pieces to fit in, but now I think I've got it. Honestly, I could use some more business appropriate pieces in my closet. I need to dress a little more professionally, but right now I am really happy with how my closet looks. I look at it and I think, yep I could pick anything in here and be happy about wearing it. Though, I should really invest in a well tailored pencil skirt and white blouse. That would be a grand idea. Mom, are you interested in making both of those things for me? 

So if you see me in a lot of stripes, oversized shirts with pockets, and t-shirt dresses just know that it makes me happy and comfortable and to me that is quite enough. And I don't really want to worry about pant suits right now. 

I love cooking. I looooooooove it. All types of cooking. I love trying new recipes. I love eating the food. I love watching it all form into something. 

I am still addicted to instagram, but the likes and comments don't matter as much. That's a relief. 

I may like certain bloggers and certain people and I may be tolerant of things and I may have a more open mind towards things, but that doesn't mean that I hate the church I belong to. I know it is true and I have my standards and I have my testimony and I believe the doctrines. I believe that I am equal among the men of my institution. One of my favorite bloggers is going through a spiritual journey and I started really getting bent out of shape about it, but then I decided that it's her life, not mine, and I can't change her ways, but I can change mine and I can become a better disciple and daughter of God, because that's who I want to be. God is love and God is good. He is no respecter of persons, but he loves with an infinite love and I know that through the Atonement, I can do all. I can overcome fears and doubts that I have. I know it, because I have experienced it. 

Slowly but surely, I have started to love my body again. 

Slowly but surely, I am getting the hang of this kinder thing. I am getting to know people around me and I am making new friends and trying to patch up relationships with old ones and it is working out. 

Every day I learn something new. Every day I shed some tear about some silly thing, but I learn more about life and love and happiness and peace.

And every day I'm grateful for all these experiences because it's what this grand plan is all about. 

Boy, I am so grateful. 

Instead of a playlist, I thought I would make this a gratitude post. It needed to happen. But here's my favorite song in the entire world that you can listen to. 

So this morning didn't work out as planned. My old account got over drafted because 3 checks that I had written months ago were just barely deposited. Yeah, so $70 worth of checks were just withdrawn and I over drafted. That's the worst. Also...I didn't get breakfast this morning BUT...

Tomorrow is pay day...so I won't get in trouble for the over draft and I will have 300 dollars in my account. AND then, I get to transfer that money to mine and Tyler's account so we will have lots of money there. That's a blessing and relief. Pay your tithing, blessings will follow. Also...if someone writes you a check DEPOSIT IT RIGHT AWAY! RIGHT AWAY! Do as the Mormons do, deposit the tithing check like four days after you get it. That's the polite and right thing to do. 

Tyler risked getting in trouble for leaving his post and brought me TWO bagels and a vitamin water this morning! Yes, he's a dreamboat. MY dreamboat. 

Tyler actually wanted to go get ice cream! He did. And we got sub zero yesterday. That's his favorite. I was so happy. 

Friday Night Lights was in the repertoire yesterday. 

My brother's got their jobs they have wanted for a long time! 

$70 gift card to Target. 

Valentine's Day is coming! 

A three day weekend is coming up. 

Someone saw the business card that I was racking my brain over designing yesterday and they said they really liked it. I almost cried. 

There are so many other things that I am grateful for. Countless things. 

Never stop expressing what you are grateful for. 

I won't stop. If you won't. Let's be thankful together! 

Stay gold. 

Legs

Monday, October 7, 2013

I really should be finishing my homework, but the stress has settled deep in my skin and I can't clear my mind. Today the only thing I can really remember feeling peace about was a boy in a wheelchair that I saw on campus today. Grumpily, I was making my way across campus and there he was, speeding away on his wheelchair and in my mind I thought..wow wouldn't that be nice. To get across campus so fast. And then...just then I saw him struggle to reach the button to open the door and I looked down at my own legs. My working legs. Legs that moved me across campus. Legs. Strong and secure and moving. Fluidly, sometimes clumsy, sometimes tired but working. And I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with my ingratitude. Sometimes I complain about how far my legs take me or how tired they get before they can take me anywhere...and then I remember that that boy can't use those legs on his body. They just don't listen to his brain the way they should. Oh boy I wish they did work for him. Oh boy I wish that he could feel what I feel....and he never will until a better and more beautiful day. But I thank him. I thank him for teaching me a lesson today. I needed it.

Truth is...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I have been having some tough days lately. Tougher than usual. So tough that I feel physically ill and emotionally drained by the time my head hits the pillow. And the funny (and quite sad) thing is that it is because I do it to myself. I blame myself, I get tangled in my emotions and feelings of inadequacy. No one else is doing this to me. It's all my own doing and I think that is the most destructive thing in the world. To forget the light within us and see ourselves as worthless is one of the most poisonous things that humans can do to themselves...and to others.

So I feel like I hit a particular low last night. I won't go into details but let's say it ended with me receiving some of the most powerful words of comfort that I have ever heard. I'll quote them the best I can...
Dani, the trials and feelings you are having are not happening because you are a bad person. There is no correlation there. They are happening because something wonderful is about to happen. Some of the strongest and best people go through hard things because it will make them even stronger and BETTER in the long run. You are meant to do great things. Don't forget that. The clouds of Satan are going to disperse and the light of Christ will shine through. You will feel better.
Yeah, as you can imagine I bawled like a baby and I am not ashamed. Sometimes you need a very good cry. You need to cry hard and then you need to think. Think hard and long.  And while I was thinking, I wrote down some of the greatest feelings of happiness that I had that day. A day that seemed to be so terrible. So here are some of the feelings I included in this list...

No Greater Feeling
By Dani Ruiz 

1. There is no greater feeling than hearing the gurgly squeal of laughter that comes from a child when they are playing peek-a-boo. 

2. There is no greater feeling than hearing the most adorable children call you Auntie Dani. 

3. There is no greater feeling than trying to explain scriptures to them as they proceed to start jumping on the couch and dancing. There is no impatience, just pure love. 

4. There is no greater feeling than when you resolve a conflict that could mess up a lot of your life. To mend friendships and to let them grow. 

5. There is no greater feeling than having two of your closest friends be worthy of giving you a blessing of comfort. To see you at your lowest and to love you anyway. To actually stop watching a football game and get dressed. Boy, I am sure grateful for that feeling. 

6. No greater feeling than reading something you have needed to for a very long time. 

7. No greater feeling than hearing something you desperately needed to.

8. No greater feeling than the sun's warmth as it creeps through the winter clouds. 

9. No greater feeling than feeling peace and happiness coming to your life again.  

What feelings do you love the most? What are you grateful for during the hard times?
I hope you are all having a terrific Tuesday, because I definitely am, even if I still am tired from all these emotions. 
Stay gold. 

Sheets That Smell Like Spring Time and Cotton Candy

Friday, January 18, 2013

Okay so they don't smell like cotton candy, but they do smell like spring, and Febreze. That stuff really works. The solution to all dirty sheets, Tide Sport with Febreze. Is that weird? It's not like I'm some dirty pig or anything, it's just a little bit of a luxury to have fresh from the wash and dryer bedsheets. So...the favorites commence.

1. Freshly Washed Sheets
They are one of the simple pleasures in life, especially after a day where you are so cold, your body aches, and you have to figure out how to get sisters in your ward to go visiting teaching. Does anyone have a tip for that one? Except for warm sheets?

2. Getting a Berry Smoothie ALL Over Your Favorite Sweater
It makes you realize that there is more to life than your favorite sweater. And you think, some people can't even afford a sweater. And some have to go around with berry stains on them and they can't do anything about it. It's their only sweater. You just have to be grateful for what you have.

3. Roommates That Make You Laugh Obnoxiously Loud.
It's even better if you are laughing for no apparent reason. You're just laughing and you feel happy. Your belly aches and your cheeks are spazzing out, but it's totally okay because you feel so awesome when you can laugh like there isn't a care in the world.

4. I get to see Phantom of the Opera tomorrow.
Eee! Everyone should know by now that I am a musical theatre geek at heart.

5. The Prompting to Call my Long Lost Best Friend, Megan Carver.
I have never felt so inspired after a phone call. I have never felt so at peace with the decisions I am making in my life. I feel so much love from the Lord and from everyone around me. I feel like we have to do what love in life. We can't just go with what the world is saying or what others tell us to do. We can study what we want to in school and it doesn't matter "what we can do with it" afterwards. We should think about how we can serve and love others. Money or status shouldn't matter. What matters is where we are on the path to happiness. If we are doing good things we will be lifted up. Trust in God, and believe in good things to come. That is so true.


What were some of your favorites this past week? People, places, things? Moments? 
Have a lovely weekend, friends. Stay warm. Stay gold. 

P.S. And wish me luck, I'm driving my good friend to the airport today. I feel like I'm super responsible for carrying out this mission.

Terrific Tuesday: 5 Things That Made Me SUPER HAPPY!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

1. Homemade Whole Wheat Fresh Blackberry Scones with White Chocolate Chips. Heavenly.

2. Parmesan/Garlic/Lemon Orzo. Have I ever told you that my mom is one of the best cooks on the planet?

3. When my dad says that I have a guy worth waiting for. My dad never says things like that.

4. Laughing with my sister about ridiculous things we see on pinterest. I love laughing. And when it's with my sister, I love it even more.

5. Realizing that I have a home to live in, delicious food on the table, a family, a warm bed to sleep in at night, and a feeling of security at all times...I am so blessed. I just can't explain how grateful I am.

What are you grateful for today? What made you happy this Tuesday? What is your favorite dish that your mom makes?

Monday Musing: 5 Things I am Grateful for This Monday

Monday, November 19, 2012

Happy week of Thanksgiving friends. What are you grateful for today?

1. Elder Wood my best friend and Elder Iverson my other best friend. Writing missionaries is a fulfilling and uplifting thing. I'm so incredibly grateful for their sacrifice and testimonies.

2. Being home. Thank you, Emilee for driving me.

3. A mom who is so willing to give and so willing to love unconditionally.

4. Music. Yes.

5. The loveliest of friends. Friends who listen. Friends who care. Friends who love a lot.
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