Monday Musing: Who I Am Becoming

Today, I was making my daily visit to the splendorous Mormon Mommy blogs that I became so enthralled with my Freshman year of college, when I had to right a rhetorical analysis on the phenomenon of beautiful ladies with adorable children and the best clothes..oh and let's not forget husbands that have come straight out of Gap and J.Crew catalogs. As I was reading about Taza (Naomi) and her trip to Italy with her littles, Elaine and her interview with Natalie (who just so happens to be my newest favorite...I wasn't always a fan.), I felt a pang of jealously. I just thought, wow they have the most perfect lives. Well it seems that way, but then I realized...no they probably don't have perfect lives, and neither do I. But we have some pretty awesome lives. I have a great life I thought. I thought, DANI YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE. A good life really. You may not have a husband yet, and you may be no where close to getting married and having a family of your own, but you have parents that love the guts out of you. You have roommates that you can talk to. Friends that you can stay up late with and giggle about stupid things with. You may not live in a big city, but you live in a place with grand mountains and golden leaves in the fall, and one day you will live in that big city. You can be whatever you want to be one day. You are getting an education at an amazing, nationally acclaimed/accredited university. You have parents who are making that possible. You may not have companies that sponsor you and give you the best clothes ever...but you have a pretty fine closet and you know how to style what you have. You may not know what you want to do yet, and you may not get into the COMMS-PR program and you might have to go back to FACSED, but at least you are willing to explore. At least you are willing to take a leap of faith and try something new. You have a Heavenly Father on your side and that's really what matters. You wouldn't be anywhere without His love. So instead of wishing that you had that life, aspire to have that life. Aspire to be an inspiration. Aspire to be great. BE GREAT. Be willing to take risks and live a little. You are becoming the person you have always wanted to be. Sometimes you can't see it all the time, but it's there. You are becoming everything you've dreamed of becoming. Don't give up. Try hard.  Be happy with what you already have. There is so much in store for you.Things will work out. They always do and that's pretty golden if I do say so myself.

Photo Courtesy of Tumblr

P.S. This is a rewrite after the On-Campus internet ate my original ramble, which was far more beautifully written...if I do say so myself. It's a shame my mind can't remember everything I write. Hope you enjoyed anyway.

Monday Musing: The Cleaning Piece III

Some nights I lay awake and think of all the mean or critical things I have said to someone or ABOUT someone that day. I think of how I would feel if I heard or was told all of the critical things people say about me when I'm not around. Just thinking about it makes me angry and hurt, then I realize how those people must feel. I think of how my sarcastic or "I'm not trying to judge" remarks make or would make those people feel. I don't deserve it when people say "You're too nice, or you're so kind." I'm not if I say those things to and about people. I have been told that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor and that speaking ill of others is one of the most  UN-Christ-like things you could do. So that's why today I am starting something new. It is part of my journey to God and self-discovery. It is all a part of the journey. Even if it's hard and I have to start over multiple times, I will do this. It is called the Cleaning Piece III and I have Tumblr to thank for it.

What a wonderful world we would have if everyone lived this way. I'm not saying I will be perfect at this, and I'm not saying that I won't have to face conflict. I'm saying that I want to try this. I want to be better. I want to be kinder. I don't want to feel guilt when people say "Dani, you're just so nice."

So today marks the beginning. Today I will keep negative thoughts to myself. I will see people as who they truly are, children of an ever-loving Father in Heaven who loves each and every one of them. Brothers and sisters of a big brother who lived and died for them. I will see them as people. I will clean my life. I will have a heart at peace. Who is with me? We can start, make mistakes, and start again together!

Let's go!

Stay golden!

Terrific Tuesday: Off to Find Myself

I have felt very lost lately, and I don't say that trying to be dramatic. I have felt very stuck. I don't feel happy or sad. I don't care but then I do care. I feel completely restless and then I feel fine where I am. I care too much about what people think and I try to hard to be everything I can't be. I try to do my best...I don't do my best. I am stuck and lost in my journey.

Well, I don't want to be lost anymore. I want to find my way and find my way in the journey. I want to discover what I really want to do. I know I said that I want to teach, but is it really REALLY what I want to do? Do I really have to live up to be the "perfect university student?" I don't need to be perfect and I need to live for myself. I need to live for my Father in Heaven. I feel like I've gotten lost in the eyes of others...and not in some romantic, soul-searching way. In a way that is really painful and hurtful.

Well I'm not going to be that way anymore. I am going to find God and I'm going to find myself. So although this post seems a bit melancholy, it really is supposed to be happy, because I'm going on my journey of self discovery. It will require a lot of work, and I won't get it right the first time, but I know I will get it right some time. Maybe I have to be by myself for a while. Maybe I need to go home and get a homecooked meal. Maybe I will have to pray always...always, but like my friend Talor says, God is awake and God is love. I must find Him. And in Him I'll find myself.

So here starts my journey.
Wish me luck.
Stay golden.