Thursday Thoughts // Weird things I do...

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1 // I've been trying really hard to narrow down my wardrobe to key pieces that I absolutely love. With my lifestyle and schedule and budget, doing this can be very difficult, but I've done some things right. I've mastered shirts. I've mastered tops that I absolutely love. I know the silouhette of top that works for me. I should say silouhettes. Once I find a top that I love, I will try to wear it as much as possible the following days, because I love it that much.

Plus, I read this fascinating article about work uniforms and I just have to say a big,fat, fancy A-to the MEN. Why not wear the same thing everyday, huh? Why not?

2 // I love reading reviews. I do my research before I buy things. Reviews are like my secret best friend. Buying from J.Crew used to be the worst darn thing on the planet before they had reviews. Now they do and my world changed. Okay, so that's an exaggeration, but I seriously love reviews. It's going to be pretty bad when I start buying my own furniture and appliances for my home. Does anyone else scour websites for reviews? The review section is the first place I go to, really.

3 // Another thing that has to do with reviews that I do is that when I get something...like a present or something that was impulse or bought on a whim (I know...I need to stop doing that) I will go look it up online afterwards and see what people think about it or see what else there is to offer. This sounds so materialistic and ungrateful, but here's an example. So for my birthday, my mom got me three Alex and Ani bracelets. Now, I had never heard of Alex and Ani until two friends of mine told me about them. Then my sister, mom and I went to the store a couple of weeks back and I was floored. The concept is so beautiful. I totally didn't expect my mom to buy me some for my birthday, but she did and I just spent the last half hour looking at all of the beautiful jewelry online and every time mine come up, I get really happy inside. I also may have formed an addiction, but I hear that's normal.

4 // Once I find a song that I like, I will listen to that song on repeat for like the next two days.

5 // I am the biggest scaredy-cat, but when ghost stories start being told, I can't stop. I love hearing the freaky stuff.

I'm weird I know...

What are some weird things you do? Are these things that weird? Probably not. Am I having a dry spell?

Who knows???

Thursday Thoughts // A Break From Regular Scheduled Programming

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I'm sorry about the lack of posts recently. I'm not going through anything severe. I'm not not writing for any specific reason. My writing well was just dried up this week and I set my focus on other things.

However, I did want to share a few thoughts with you today.

Side Note: Style Profile. Tomorrow. Be there. It will be absolutely lovely.

Tyler and I are in this Accounting class together. I have to take it for Public Relations and Tyler needs to take it for his business minor. This class is kicking out butt. I can't say it in any other way. It's a right forceful kick in the ass. (Sorry mom!) It brings out the worst in Tyler and I because we just don't get it and after one day of endless complaining, Tyler, in his glorious wisdom, stopped me mid-sentence and said this:

"This is a humbling experience for us, because we're not good at it and I think we are so used to being good at what we do."

And without sounding like I'm boasting about our abilities, I said, "I completely agree with you."

And I was overwhelmed with the Love of God. I was being humbled. My pride was being chipped away because I like to think that I'm good at a lot of things. I like to think that I've had a successful college career without too many failures, but here was Tyler telling me that I might fail this class, and it will be okay, because I need to experience this.

So we made a commitment to be better, and we've already made mistakes, but we both said that we would say sorry every time we made a mistake, and it's working out. Tonight we have more accounting homework so we'll have to wait and see how we go from there.

Well after we stopped complaining I felt a weight lift off of me. I felt like I was able to go throughout my day without this nasty negative burden on my shoulders and on the tip of my tongue.

I was able to get things done.

And then good things happened. Really good things happened.

Tyler got an internship this Summer in Irvine, CA with Sports 1 Marketing. This is a big deal. Tyler's dream has always been to work in the sports industry and this is his foot in the door. I couldn't be more proud of him. Tears well up in my eyes to think that one of his dreams is a reality. After being discouraged for so long, something worked out for him.

Something worked out for me too. I was worrying myself sick about this press conference I had to do for a class. Turns out, my group did the best and we got 10 extra points which is huge in PR program. Extra credit is a measly one point half of the time. This was right after Tyler found out about his internship.

So I texted him telling him the news and he sent this text back to me (in all his wisdom, of course):

"Good things are happening AROUND accounting! Which is Heavenly Father saying, "You guys are still smart and valuable, I'm just reminding you what you are actually good at."

I laughed and then shed a tear or two because he was so right.

I may not be good at everything, and that is TOTALLY COMPLETELY INCREDIBLY OKAY! It just is. You won't be perfect at all things. You could never be. Our psychological well being would be the pits if we forced ourselves to be perfect all the time. So right now I will take what I can get, and I will keep trying, because you can't give up. You have to keep going. Don't you quit, because you may not get the A but you will be able to say you overcame something hard and you realized that you have strength in other things. That's beautiful.

So don't quit. Keep going. Fail a little and glory in your success because you can do it.

Monday Musing // The Things of 2014 Past

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Oh I didn't really feel like writing this blog post, but sometimes when I'm at the end of a very productive and tiring day, I feel the deepest need to express the words swirling in my mind trying to connect into much too lengthy and grammatically incorrect sentences.

2014 was an interesting year.

Quite the most interesting of my life, perhaps. So far.

Good things happened in 2014 and bad things happened too.

And so did things that helped me grow an inch or two. Literally, figuratively, whatevertively.

I celebrated a year of marriage to the coolest cat in 2014.

I took care of him at his weakest and I celebrated with him at his strongest.

I built a professional portfolio of written works.

I made new friends.

I let go of lost love.

I accepted my body more.

I accepted health and fitness more.

I met people who taught me light and goodness.

I excelled in things I wanted to excel in.

I found my voice.

I discovered my personal style. I refined it.

I found more and more of myself.

And I changed the parts that needed to change.

I let go of things that hurt me.

I fought with some that wouldn't budge.

And I discovered the most perfect little things that I like about my soul.

Some things I didn't like...

I gained pounds that eat away at me every day.

I cried a lot about silly things.

I looked at myself in the mirror a little too long and wept over scars, marks, and folds.

I contemplated calories and eating a little too much.

I ignored comments and words of affirmation.

I wept justified tears and I lashed out in anger at things not so justified and things of the past.

But despite those bad things, those demons that are still creeping up on me, I'm learning to be resilient.

I'm learning to fight back.

I'm learning to be a voice of courage and love and progress. Moving forward.

I learned about me this past year, and I plan to learn about myself even more.

+ s t a y // g o l d 

Monday Musing // I don't even know what to blog about...

my brain right now

Yeah, I don't know what to blog about. I am kind of thinking that a hiatus is in order. Maybe after this week. I don't want to force anything. I do have a fun summery post ready for Wednesday, it's going to be great. Just fantastic and fun, really. Maybe just stay tuned for that. 

I just started a really good work out regimen. I started using My Fitness Pal. I will have gotten some pretty rad sandals by the time you read this. I am on the hunt for light wash jeans that I can wear in the office. I let go of a pair that cost only $12.97 at the Gap. I think I am going to run back tomorrow and see if there is anyway or any hope that someone didn't snatch them up. If you know of any great places that sell really nice jeans for a good price, let this chica know. I am the queen of jeans, but I really can't wear the same pairs every single day of the week. I need some variety and some light wash in my life. 

The fourth of July is this week. Oh what fun. Bring on the watermelon and corn on the cob. Tyler has never done street fireworks so that will be new and the carne asada will be prime. 

Every single day I learn a little more about myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I really like to learn about myself. The little hidden quirks that come to light. The insecurities that I overcome. The warmth I feel within me. It's a good feeling. Have any of you experienced something like that? 

And now to conclude...some songs that I have been digging...just two so I don't spoil the playlist. 

It's All Coming Back to Me Now by Celine Dion 

& 

When I Fall in Love by Sam Cooke 

+ h a p p y // m o n d a y 

& 

+ s t a y // g o l d 

p.s.  feel free to share some of your musings with me. 

A thing or two about clothes.

p h o t o 

So I used to be really into fashion, and you might be thinking...ummm...what are you talking about you still are. Yeah, well no. Not really. I mean I was so into it that I studied Vogue magazine, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, you name the fashion magazine I was following it. I knew trends like I knew the back of my hand. I wanted to work fashion. I wanted to be it. I wanted every single person I came in contact with to know that I was going to write about fashion one day and I was going to wear it. I wanted people to know my knowledge.

Well...now that I look back, I find it to be really silly, actually. Don't get me wrong, I love clothes. I do. Clothes are my thing, I guess you could say, and I would love to write about them. Heck, I love to write about them now. I love pinning clothes. I love shopping for clothes. I love looking at clothes. I still like the magazines and the designs and the detail, but now I don't want to be clothes anymore. Clothes don't define me. Yes, I may be defined as Dani with the cute clothes...but I hope that that isn't what people think of when they think of me...and if they do...well I'm flattered but I also hope that they see me. I hope they see that if I had my way (I kind of do anyway) I would gray sweatshirts and skinny jeans every day of my life. I would wear my hair naturally and put on minimal makeup and I would be okay. But I'm human and sometimes I get insecure and sometimes I dress up and sometimes I take pictures of it and put it on instagram.

The thing is though, I'm not meaning to boast or show off. I don't mean that at all. I just express myself because clothes have become that way for me. People have been inspired by it...so I do it, because ultimately I want to inspire people.

I want to be Dani, the girl who likes clothes, but also likes people, and talking, and laughing and eating food and playing games and singing songs and giving hugs and being a listening ear, a good wife, a true friend. That's the Dani I want to be.

So don't let clothes define you. Stop looking at pinterest and actually determining your worth from your pin boards. Your friends' lives on social media don't determine your worth. You can't take material things with you, so don't let them be your life. Put your treasures elsewhere and let that light shine through.


And always, always remember to s t a y // g o l d.

Happy are we! Happy are we!

I've found that sometimes it's not the best to always believe what everyone tells you about the first year of marriage. 

I think it takes away from you having your own true experience. The experience of experiences where you have to try it out yourself. 

Where you have to discover and learn and cry and try again and smile again. And remember that you really are happy, because it's true, you are the happiest you have ever been in your life. You really are. 

Then cry some more and then hold each other in the moment. That's what learning is about actually. And it's great. It's really great. Sometimes you get discouraged and disappointed and sometimes people are lacking on both sides in the appreciation department, but if there is one thing I've learned so far in this short period of marriage time is that it's WAY better than engagement and that love is more deep and that understanding grows and so does the appreciation. And so does the learning. 

And it really is beautiful. And it really is worth it all. 

p.s. if anyone wants to know. the sully blanket (or the blue fuzzy one) is from qvc courtesy of my abuela, and our duvet is from Nate Berkus for Target. I love that thing. 

Now here are some more pictures!

I have no idea if I have shared this one yet, but despite the terrible quality, it is my FAVORITE wedding photo. It's even better in it's "not uploaded from the iPhone" state. 

We had our first "date night" as a married couple. It consisted of Chile's, BYU Basketball, an old man photobomb, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 at the Dollar Theater. We are classics. 

A random photo I took recently of this gorgeous sunset. Just thought I would share. Maybe I should insert a random poem about how Tyler and I's love being like a sunset. Ah, better not. Cheese alert central. 

Alright well, I mused enough. Stay gold.

I saw a robin today...

I should start taking more serious pictures of my life. Not like the silly instagram ones...like pictures of the sky and the robin that I saw in the tree outside of my apartment complex. I saw so many beautiful things today and all I have is memories so I guess I will keep them close.

Seeing that robin was a lovely thing really. It was a glimmer of hope for spring. It spread its wings, startled at my appearance on the walk way. And it flapped its way to a brambly tree. I stood there and stared at it for a brief moment. I looked at it's yellow beak and it's red belly all puffed up and ruffled. It didn't chirp or anything but I imagined that it would and the primary song popped into my head.

"Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by,
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heav’nly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him rev’rently
For all his creations, of which I’m a part.
Yes, I know Heav’nly Father loves me."

I felt very happy walking up the stairs to my apartment. And I felt happy when I thought of the homework I had to do. That never happens. I felt good because this weekend wasn't a weekend for warm and fuzzies. It was a weekend of finding out you've lost the trust of a close friend and realizing that people move on without you. It was a pity party weekend and I seemed to be content with my current situation.

I wasn't realizing "the brutal circumstances of my current situation."(Stake Conference, baby) I wasn't improving or trying to change things that I needed to. I kept on painting a silver lining or putting a sugar coat over the things in my life that I wasn't enjoying. Well today changed that. I'm not saying the robin did...there are many factors really.

This morning I prayed out loud. I talked to God. Then I read my scriptures, I never do that in the morning. And I read about Lachoneus and his dedication to fortify his city from the Gadianton Robbers. I realized I had to fortify myself from the adversary. The Lord was on my side, I had to act. I realized that it was MY choice to be happy. It IS MY CHOICE to be myself. So I'm going to be me. Because that's who I want to be.

So I'm thankful for that robin, and Lachoneus, and praying vocally, I'm grateful for 49 degree weather, and I'm grateful for every single thing in my life...even losing the trust of a friend, because now I get to work harder to be better...and I want to be better.